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Matrimonial and Family Law Blog

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Divorce Announcements: How, When and Why

Can someone find out you filed for divorce even if you have not told anyone, including your family? Yes, there is a chance that someone could discover you are divorced because New York divorce records are public. Unless the court has good reason to seal the records, the public can read your divorce decree. Therefore, someone could discover you are divorced even if you have not decided to share that news with someone.

In many cases, the news that you are getting a divorce is known long before the divorce is final. Even before you are ready to talk to a New York divorce lawyer, your spouse might spread the news that you are separated. Rumors of separation often lead to conclusions that a couple is getting divorced.

Maintaining Control of the Announcement 

If your spouse has not posted your pending divorce on his or her social media page yet, you are still in control of how, when, and why you share the news of your divorce. It would be helpful if you and your spouse could agree when and how to tell everyone you are seeking a divorce. 

If your spouse is not cooperating, being the first to tell family and friends about the divorce allows you to be in control of the how and when. You might want to inform them in writing, so you don’t have to face questions in person or by telephone. However, if you break the news of your divorce online or through text, you are likely to receive calls regardless. At the very least, people will return your message and ask questions.

Answering Unwanted Questions About Your Divorce

Unfortunately, when you tell everyone about your divorce, people will ask questions. They will want to hear all the details. Even well-meaning friends may not understand that you just do not want to discuss the divorce or your soon-to-be ex-spouse. How do you deal with questions about a topic you do not wish to discuss?

You cannot stop the questions no matter what you do. Therefore, give some thought to how you want to respond to questions before you tell everyone about the divorce. Plan what you want to say and how you want to say it. People want details, but those details are private. Developing a general response to questions that you can rehearse in advance can help you deal with unwanted questions. 

You may want to express your appreciation for the person’s concern and support for you and your family during this time. Follow your expression of gratitude with a polite but firm statement that you hope the person can respect the need for privacy while you and your family deal with this matter. Most people understand that statement and leave the matter alone. For those who continue to ask questions, you might need to develop a strong response that states outright you do not want to talk about the divorce.

Contact a New York Divorce Attorney for Help

Going through a divorce can be challenging in many ways. You do not need to go through the divorce process alone. A New York divorce attorney provides the legal advice you need to protect yourself and your child, but your attorney also provides the support and guidance you need throughout the divorce process. Contact Gassman Baiamonte Gruner, P.C. to speak with a New York divorce lawyer today. 

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