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Matrimonial and Family Law Blog

Monday, January 28, 2019

Seven Tips to Help Your Children Through a Divorce

Going through the divorce process can be very difficult for children. Children may blame themselves for the breakup of their parents’ marriage and experience fear about the future and changes that come with a divorce. Many factors, including the child’s age, personality, and the circumstances of the separation, contribute to how a child may react to a divorce. Your New York family lawyer can offer some guidance for how to help your child through the divorce process. Below are seven suggestions from Kids Health about how you can help your child cope with your divorce.


Ways to Help Your Children Cope with Divorce

  1.  Encourage Your Children to Be Honest
    Let your children known that their feelings are important to you and that you take their feeling seriously. Encourage your children to be open and honest with you about their feelings about the divorce and the changes that come with the divorce.
  2. Help Children Verbalize Feelings
    It can be difficult for children, especially young children, to put their feelings into words. Ask your children how certain things make them feel and spend a lot of time listening to them as they talk their way through those feelings.
  3.  Validate Your Children’s Feelings
    Let your children know that it is okay to feel sad, anxious, or angry about the situation. You need to allow your children to express their feelings before you can offer support and suggestions about how to deal with the feelings.
  4. Offer Support and Suggestions for Making Things Better
    Children may not know what to ask for or what they need to help them feel better. A short telephone call before bedtime with the other parent may help reassure some children that they are not “losing” their mother or father because of the divorce.
  5. Manage Your Stress So You Can Remain Healthy
    Even an amicable divorce can cause some stress and anxiety. Make sure that you take time to care for yourself and find healthy ways to deal with your stress. You are in a better position to help your children through the divorce when you are physically and emotionally healthy.
  6.  Shield Children from the Details of Your Divorce Do not discuss the details of the divorce in front of your children. Children can become very protective of a parent who is not in the home or very angry with the parent who must leave home. In either case, the feelings can be difficult to process, especially if the parent that remains in the home constantly speaks ill about the other parent. Always try to be as civil as possible when interacting with your child’s other parent when your child is present. Discourage family members and friends from discussing the divorce or speaking ill about your spouse when your child might overhear.
  7. Seek Assistance From Trusted Sources

You and your children may benefit from professional assistance as you go through the divorce process. Counselors, therapists, and other mental health professionals can offer support and guidance for you and your children. Let your children know that it is okay to seek help when dealing with emotional issues. Instead of leaning on your children for support, you may want to turn to a trusted friend, religious advisor, counselor, or support group for help. 

Seeking Help From a New York Family Lawyer

If you have questions about the divorce process in New York, talk to an experienced New York family lawyer. Contact Gassman Baiamonte Gruner, P.C. to speak with a New York divorce lawyer today. Understanding the divorce process may help reduce some of your stress and anxiety so that you are better prepared to help your children adjust to the divorce.

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