Matrimonial and Family Law Blog

Friday, May 18, 2018

Five Tips for Avoiding Divorce

As New York marital agreement lawyers, we see couples in our offices who want to protect their relationship by entering a prenup or premarital agreement. While some people assume prenups are about protecting assets and avoiding costly divorce proceedings, premarital agreements accomplish so much more. Negotiating a prenup can help a couple work through many of the issues that cause a marriage to fail — dishonesty, greed, poor communication, debt problems, views on infidelity, and so forth.

When a couple is in the beginning stages of a relationship, they may be more open to working together to resolve issues. As daily struggles and stress begin to take a toll on a couple, it can be more difficult to work through issues and problems. Therefore, we advise our clients to use the same skills they used to negotiate a prenup to strengthen their marriage to avoid divorce.

Five of the Most Important Tips for Avoiding Divorce

1. Honesty in Love and Legal Matters

When you are preparing a marital agreement, both parties are required to disclose all financial matters. Full disclosure is one of the basic elements required for a valid marital agreement. Being honest about financial matters, past relationships, future plans, children, and long-term goals is one of the most important elements of a strong marriage. Issues are best dealt with in an open, honest, and compassionate manner. Learning to be honest with each other can help couples avoid divorce. 

2. Good Communication Skills

Sometimes the way a person says something can turn a small issue into a huge argument. Learning how to communicate your thoughts and feelings is essential for a strong marriage. A healthy relationship requires positive communication between spouses. If there is something that is bothering you, you need to talk to your spouse instead of allowing it to fester.

However, speaking your mind does not mean intentionally hurting the other person. It may have been difficult to discuss issues of alimony and potential marital misconduct when developing your marital agreement. However, you were kind and thoughtful of your partner and sensitive to his or her feelings. Continue that positive communication skill during your marriage to avoid divorce.

3. Financial Problems

Financial betrayal can often be just as harmful to a marriage as an affair. One of the most common reasons why couples argue has to do with financial matters. When spouses view money and spending in vastly different ways, it can create situations in which anger, frustration, resentment, and hurt grow unchecked.

While you worked together on your marital agreement, you should have been open and honest about your views about the best ways to handle money and debt. Continue to have open and frank conversations with your spouse about spending and saving during your marriage. Working together to manage finances can prevent issues from arising that lead to divorce.

4. Don’t Be Afraid of Hard Work

Making a marriage strong takes hard work. Allowing your relationship to suffer because of children, jobs, and other individual pursuits can occur slowly and methodically without spouses realizing it is happening to them. Marital agreements can often take weeks to negotiate with partners spending countless hours discussing matters that directly impact their relationship, finances, and future goals.

Your marriage requires even more work to maintain a healthy relationship. Make time to talk to each other without distractions. If you must “schedule” time to be intimate, then do so. If you need to schedule a few hours each week to disconnect from everyone and everything other than your spouse, then do so. Failing to put in the effort to make a marriage work usually ends in divorce court.

5. Compromise

In many cases, a prenup or postnup involves a compromise between the parties. Realizing that you will not always get your way is very important in a marriage. Compromise can be one of the best ways to avoid divorce. Spouses need to realize that compromising is not about failing or giving up what they want. Throw away stubbornness and learn to work as a team with open minds, honesty, and compassion for each other.

Do You Need a New York Marital Agreement Lawyer?

There are many reasons why a couple may want to discuss marital agreements. If you have questions about prenups or postnups, contact our New York marital law lawyers to discuss the benefits of a premarital or post-marital agreement.

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